Tuesday, April 23, 2013

A Leaf

With a sorrowful glance I looked up towards the peak of the green-leaved trees. I remembered how I had jumped from branch to branch, and rested in the bowl-like branches during the terrifying nights. As I gawked at my distant home, a marred leaf traced its way to the ground, beside my feet. She looked tired and weary, suffering in defeat, just like me. I tried persistently to grasp the tree and slowly cradle myself to my home, but the mocking rain made my path impossible to climb. I fell to the ground, once again to accompany the cracked leaf laying hopelessly on the ground. We both exchanged glances, she didn't seem to speak a word, so peaceful and so quiet she was, not even a smile she gave me. But I felt her pain, she too wanted to be back on top of the trees. But unlike me, she was not stubborn, she tried to acclimatize herself to the mushy, muddled forest grounds.

For quite some time I laid silently beside her, repressing my rebellious nature, letting go of my old home and familiarizing myself with the new one. But I could never be as calm as she, my heart ached in memory of my friends who played in the air above me. With the heavy rains destroying the flowers near us, I noticed a tear down the leaf's rutted cheek. We were both sad, both alone. We could accompany each other, with even a bit of love, the solitude would succumb, but to me she would not speak. I had to make a decision, and if she didn't object, she would have to abide by it.

I picked her carefully, tucking her in the warmth of my hands. The air was cold and moist, but not cold enough to stop me. I wrapped my arms around the trunk of the forest tree, and with all my strength slowly began pulling myself up. The leaf whimpered every now and then, but I was unable to tell whether it was because of happiness or because she was uncomfortable in the protection of my hands. With each pull, I brought myself closer and closer to my home, and the leaf closer to hers. The rain fell slowly, but its slippery evil could not end my journey. Persistence is what the leaf had taught me while we rested peacefully on the ground, she did not speak, but her patience showed her satisfaction. She did not give up, and neither would I.

After the night began to enmesh itself into day, the light poured into the floors of the rain-forest  The invigorating sun roared at the sight of a monkey and a leaf on a journey of survival. After the night's struggle, and the morning's hope we had finally reached to the top of the tree, the place I called home. I smiled, I smiled so hard and looked down at the leaf in my hands. Still she showed no response at all, was she happy? 

I saw my smiling friend waiting to embrace me, but before doing so, I spoke to the leaf. She must have felt tired, so I placed her on a branch allowing her to stretch herself out. I stared quietly at her, but her eyes seemed to wander someplace else. I traced the path of her gaze, and noticed her looking down, there were many leaves covering the forest floor, the smothered soil unable to breathe. A sudden gust of wind came by, and with a whip lashed my dear friend, the leaf back to the ground. She fell so freely, so flawlessly. But now she was away from me, a monkey's lost friend. 

But I looked back at her, she laid in the heart of her family, still as peaceful as ever. With her silent gaze, she said so much to me. With all my persistence, I pulled us both up the incredibly tall tree. I thanked her telling her without her presence, without her encouragement, I couldn't have pulled us up. In denial, she glanced, saying so much more to me. She had never done anything, the strength that I needed was within me. I had the patience, the persistence, but not the love I needed. For the sake of the leaf, for the love of the leaf I brought us up, but for the love of myself I could not. 

Had only I believed in myself, had only I loved myself enough to muster all of my strength and begin a new journey. She reminded me that a new leaf fell down everyday, and that somehow after the bitter cold of the season, a new leaf  would grow everyday. I would surely miss my silent companion, one who spoke no words, but still spoke everything, but she assured me that next time I wouldn't be needing her, because next time I would have me.

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